Negotiation
by audrulyte
Summary: Stephanie has a plan to take her man down. Or is it another way round? Just a short one-shot. Rating because of some cursing.


_Disclaimer. I own nothing. Just playing with the characters._

**Negotiation**

Ranger has been asking me to marry him for three years now. And I kept saying him 'no'. Though what I really wanted to say was 'yes'. You ask me why? Well, for a long time Ranger's been telling me that his offer did not come with the ring, so when he finally _offered_ the ring, I sought my chance to play cat and mouse with him. And it was working real fine until now.

I wanted him to pop the question today, but so far he didn't. I was determined to say that 'yes' to him, but I also wasn't going to be the one to ask him marry me. Not a chance. So I had this small plan…

* * *

'Babe,' Ranger knocked on the bathroom door. 'Would you open the door?'

Yeah, right, so he'd take me to the hospital, and I HATE hospitals.

'Nah, I don't think so. And don't you 'Babe' me Ranger! I'm mad at you for trying to get me to that damned hospital already!'

I was on the bathroom floor and was leaning heavily on the door, so that Ranger could not get in. Unlocking the lock would've been an easy-peasy task for him, but getting in with me barricading the door not so much. And I wasn't going down easily. Not this time.

'Babe, but we _really_ need to get you to the hospital. Please just open the door and we can get going.'

I forced myself to stay focused on a 'job' at hand and for the first time in my life I did not succumb for Ranger's 'please'. And believe me that wasn't easy.

'Not happening today Batman,' I yelled back at him, and I could swear I've heard Tank chuckle.

'Tank,' I heard Ranger say, 'don't you dare. It's your fault she's in there now.'

Oh, Batman is pissed, I thought for myself. Well, that will teach him to take me for granted and for trying to take me to the hospital. I'm not going to give in before I get what I want. I shook my head.

'Just how it is my fault?' Tank retorted. 'I did not push her in there.'

'Yeah, but you coming here distracted me. I HAD to open the door for you, and that's when she got her chance to barricade herself.'

'Yeah, Batman,' I exclaimed, smiling under my nose, 'tell Tank who's the boss here.'

That must have stopped both men in their tracks, as for a moment there was no sound coming from the other side of the door.

'Babe, it's not funny.'

I nodded.

'Babe?'

Oh, damn, I forgot they could not see me nod.

'Yeah, it isn't funny. Me going to that damned hospital isn't either. So I think you get my point now.'

Did I hear him sigh? That just could not possibly be true. Ranger never sighs. Though he sometimes gets real pissed and starts acting like a normal human being. I've seen to that during our three years together.

'Babe, I _know_ you hate hospitals,' he began cautiously. 'And I would gladly oblige to you not wanting to go to one today. But for Christ's sake you're in LABOR!' and finished with his voice raised.

Shit! So here come the heavy guns. Why did he have to remind me of that? I was just enjoying a break between contractions, and here he comes spoiling the break.

'Well, Ranger, I know that. But I don't want to be in labor, so I'm gonna stay here and just ignore it until it goes away. And I'm not going to a fucking hospital! No way!'

Maybe, if I do some denial, it will serve me good. And I'm from the Burg, so denial is like in my blood.

I've meant every single word about not going to any damn hospital, but then another contraction has started, and I screamed out loud.

'Babe!' I've heard Ranger exclaim, no traces of his famous self control left in his voice. 'You're OK?

'NO!'

My whole body was conspiring against me and he asks me if I'm OK?

'Go away, just go away,' I started muttering under my nose, praying that contractions would stop. 'Greg, Mike, Lewis, Eddie, Sam, Wordy…'

'What a FUCK! Why are you mentioning all these men Babe?'

Oh, my man was clearly frustrated and jealous. So now he's jealous?

'Flashpoint, Ranger, Flashpoint!' I yelled at him.

'What the hell are you talking about?'

Oh, my clueless man of mystery. I almost felt sorry for him. But I wasn't to give up. Not just yet.

'TV show! SRU! Hostage negotiation!'

The pause, which followed, indicated that I had his full attention with that.

'Babe, you either open this door yourself, and I take you to the hospital, or I get in there by force, and still take you to the hospital.' He finally said to me in his no-nonsense tone. 'How's that for hostage negotiation?' He was now talking to me in his non-emotional SWAT unit commander's tone, but I knew that was just a mask.

I could hear Tank laugh. Oh, big boy, you'll get your medicine later, I thought for myself, and took a mental note to do something about Tank. When I will be able to walk on my own that is or something.

'Ranger?'

The other contraction squeezed the air out of me and left me panting.

Damn, but their increasing frequency started to really worry me. I just was not ready to be giving birth right now. Or like never. And I was freaking out thinking that I am going to have to go to the hospital. And soon, by the way my body was telling me.

Pop the question. Now.

'Babe?' Ranger's tones were low once more, and his worry about me was showing once more.

'I think I'm giving birth already!'

Breath, breath, Stephanie. Remember what you've been told during those classes.

'Love, I know _that._ I've been telling you this for a while now. Open the damn door and let's roll.'

'Shut up!' I yelled back, and clenched my teeth as another wave of pain washed over me. 'Argh! Fuck! I CAN'T open the door and I'm in labor! DO something!'

'FUCK!' I registered Ranger curse.

'Bombshell? Can you move away from the door, so we'd get in?'

'Ye-aaarhg-Nooooo!'

I tried to move away from the door, but that was hard, but I succeeded in only pushing myself by a couple of inches.

Fuck! Damn. Get me outa here. NOW!

They pushed the door, and I've felt myself gently sliding on the bathroom floor. The next moment Ranger was Tank were already in and helping me up.

'Hold on Babe. Everything is gonna be fine.'

I looked him into the eyes, and saw his worried look. Yup, definitely no self control in there right left now. Then the pain came again and I cursed at him through my clenched teeth. 'Shit, but you might consider your technique of negotiation working. At least this time round.' I tried to pull a joke, but as another contraction came to torture me it might not worked as well as I intended.

Ranger shot me a wry grin.

'I'm not finished with you Babe. Right now we're going to get you to the hospital.'

I nodded. My determination to keep out of hospital was now gone. Frequent contractions played a huge role in me changing my attitude about that. 'And then we're getting married.'

Wha? Hold your horses Batman. Did I hear you right? Or it's just me hearing things?

'It's not open for negotiation. As I've already told you once, Morelli is not invited. And our boy will be born to us as newly weds.' He shot at me in one successful series, leaving me completely dumbstruck.

My mouth probably fell open to the floor.

OK, I probably liked him in this role.

'Deal. But when this is over, _I'm_ playing this role. And you're gonna be my hostage. And I'm not gonna let you to get out of _that _situation easily.'

Ranger gave me one of his full on smiles. 'Sure Babe. Anything for you.'

So I guess watching TV shows sometimes pays off. And although I imagined our _someday_ bit differently, that'll do. At least _he_ asked me to marry me, I thought happily. Evil me. And I smirked at how well my plan worked.

'Babe, you only had to say me 'yes',' he grinned. 'I already have arrangements with priest and if you haven't played this little game here, we'd be married already.'

Damn, but he always has a last word.


End file.
